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Pandemic 49 images Created 16 Aug 2022

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$I'm a family doctor. My dad, who's 87, was recovering from a hip fracture when he tested positive for COVID-19 in the nursing home. He recovered relatively painlessly. However, because all the residents had to stay in their own rooms he had much less social interaction than he had before and certainly family couldn't visit. So he shut down emotionally and progressively became more and more vegetable like, with less and less responsiveness to other people. So we brought him home with hospice. He’s actually recovering, now that he has some more social stimulation and he's getting proper food and he's not so bored and life actually has a future.<br /> <br /> I've also had a couple of patients who had COVID-19 die. One I feel incredibly guilty about because I put him on Zithromax and Hydroxychloroquine, the standard of care at the time and he was getting better….then he died at home.<br /> <br /> Did he die of an arrhythmia because of the medicine I gave him? I don't know. I have spoken to his wife about it. She's like, “Pete, just give yourself a break, you did the right thing”.<br /> <br /> I have to reconcile it and say, “I'm not a failure”, but there's that part of me that says, “yes you are”. I’m going to carry that with me forever.$

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$I've been unemployed and underemployed. I've been able to pick up virtual meeting work, but the volume of it and the compensation for it is a drastic fraction of what I had prior to all the shutdowns. I'm working at the local CVS as a cashier, just to try to help make ends meet.<br /> <br /> It really feels like I’m stuck in limbo and just the sheer helplessness of not being able to do what I've dedicated my life to professionally is very, very disheartening. Last year my father passed away. I couldn't afford to go home to attend the funeral. That has weighed heavily on me. To have lost my father and my career, makes it tough to deal with. <br /> <br /> I've definitely had some very dark thoughts that I've had to steer myself away from. I don’t want to wind up, curled up in a ball, crying over the fact that this pandemic is not only taking lives directly, but taking lives indirectly.<br /> <br /> In April of 1993, I became an audio visual professional. That ended on March 7th, 2020 and since then I really haven't been back in a venue.<br /> <br /> I really miss the companionship and camaraderie, and general community that we have in this industry… I really do want to get back to work.$

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